ok so well...stressed as usual...nothing much changed..im still pissed...my mood is in control...affecting people around me...so i decided to post here...perhaps as clarifying...and also future warning
so yea...things havent been stable at all...been really stressed out with another friend..but not his fault really...and im slowly losing my social skills...i found out that i no longer liked to talk verbally to people...and that im so cautious over talking to them...i put on a mask immediately when im in front of others...so that my proper mood will not affect them...i dun wanna be sad and "emo" and cause people around me to feel it..so best is to be happy..laugh along...smile a lot and hope people will accept it...but damn..not easy when yu have a kor kor that can see thru you so easily...was in school and was masking by being happy and chatting...then kor looked at me and immediately said "your mask today very thick yes please" :P...oh well..i tried...
and also...confession time...some of the calls from people i have been deliberatly ignoring...not because i hate them...but becuz it just so happen that they call at a time that i wanna be alone...and this times are usually plentiful...i love the idea of isolation...no one to disturb me..im not responsible for anyone..no one is responsible for me...its good...so please...its not that i hate you all...its just that at this point..there are only some people that i really wanna tlak to..but that doesn't mean i like them more than the rest of you
so yea...things havent been stable at all...been really stressed out with another friend..but not his fault really...and im slowly losing my social skills...i found out that i no longer liked to talk verbally to people...and that im so cautious over talking to them...i put on a mask immediately when im in front of others...so that my proper mood will not affect them...i dun wanna be sad and "emo" and cause people around me to feel it..so best is to be happy..laugh along...smile a lot and hope people will accept it...but damn..not easy when yu have a kor kor that can see thru you so easily...was in school and was masking by being happy and chatting...then kor looked at me and immediately said "your mask today very thick yes please" :P...oh well..i tried...
and also...confession time...some of the calls from people i have been deliberatly ignoring...not because i hate them...but becuz it just so happen that they call at a time that i wanna be alone...and this times are usually plentiful...i love the idea of isolation...no one to disturb me..im not responsible for anyone..no one is responsible for me...its good...so please...its not that i hate you all...its just that at this point..there are only some people that i really wanna tlak to..but that doesn't mean i like them more than the rest of you
and finally...just happened few minutes ago...talk about experiential learning...*prays people will not start calling the moment they see this*...i just cut myself...just a small one i swear! see if i can lie my way thru till it heals..in the mean time...Justin fell and cut his wrist :P
