Normal day...as usual :P

Phrase: Good cannot exist without evil

Yes...another phrase from Transformers...i know this kinda disagree with the concept that Christianity adopts which is " evil exist because of the lack of presence of good"...but still , the general idea is there...so i guess sometimes we cant really curse the presence of evil...cuz think about it...a world of good really is a better place...but its possibly impossible :P...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ReadME: 2

Version: 2011.1.15

ChangeLog:

-changed the songs in the blog

-met up with frens to play MH

-said i would study but did not

Well...im guessing you all would notice that i changed the song already...i really liked the first one..its kinda like a music video of an awesome game im playing now: Minecraft

So today was kinda normal...woke up...late as usual...and then ate brunch and met up with ryan...for those who dun know...ryan is what i like to call a roaming Christian :P...basically he is one of those who comes around knocking on doors and talking about the bible...i know most of you probably would kindly decline...but for me...i usually allow them to speak their mind...and its not becuz im oso christian...FYI...he visited me the first time a few months ago..when i was still big time atheist...but for me...i always let them say their share...then share my views...i know he is sincere about sharing the gospel becuz even after i became Christian...he still visits regularly and we will discuss about things...so he is not the kinda that simply come JUST to make you Christian...and i believe the rest are the same too...so do give them the chance :D

so then after that i met up with alex and hakim to go hunting...had fun...as usual...and ate dinner outside...and halfway thru i met joel...who promptly pestered me to go for BB parade cuz i have not been going for ages! but joel forgot one vital point...he tried to force me to go...now people all know that once you force me to do something...its already a lost cause :P...but still...perhaps i'll go back one of these days...

well then so basically nothing much...got projects...exams coming...actually said i would study today...but knowing myself...of course i did not :P

New phase for his blog...from now on its gonna be formated like a readme...just for fun :D My phrase of the post will come first...then after that the readme :D

Phrase: Anything can be fun as long as you're having fun :D

Well i learnt this thru so many project...really dun wanna elaborate more...but basically, even when things dun seem fun, you can always make up your own fun :P

well anyway below is the readme, which is basically the post :P

version=date

Changelog= major events

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ReadME: 1

Version: 2011.1.13

Changelog:

-screwed up my groupwork

-Got a stress attack, for the first time

-managed to handle it

-struggling with the workload

-had outing with trustee

Well so basically schools taking a toll on me, especially the projects. Kinda overloading but its not really becuz of the workload, but rather the stress from the other group. It not like i got no faith in my group, but it like when i look at other groups, they seems so much better. i think its my style as usual, always thinking negatively

But i was reading Jocelyn's Christmas note for me...it says "Dear Justin, may you have more CONFIDENCE & SELF-BELIEF in 2011. Have a happy new year! Cheers, Jocelyn" and i realized how much people care for me. Im always thinking that no one gives a damn about me and just treat me like im part of a wall. But i realized in not true for all cases...Jocelyn is my lecturer and most lecturer only bothers about my studies, but she is such a caring mentor and is able to locate my weaknesses in life. Just knowing that she knows make me feel better already...and of course i have my trustees which i trust with probably my life (kor kor is a trustee too...duh!). So i should count my blessings and stop thinking so much of what i dun have but rather think about the things i have :D ( MY GOSH!!...something positive actually came out from me :P)

well then with that thought...im hoping it will get me thru this semester, seriously i cant wait for it to end...Its been like a roller coaster ride for me, full of ups and downs and its seriously not my style. im simply hoping to get thru the exams well enough and hope that next sem wont be so bad...but still, had my share of fun so no complains there :D

and also, recently started playing minecraft...its the best game when it comes to de-stressing...trust me :D

alright thats about all...just finished editing slides and if theres nothing more, maybe gonna go de-stress :P

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOW...the open house was a blast...but before that...the phrase of the post is :

Sometimes Fire in your heart is not so easily extinguished...

Sigh...not sure how many of you all will be able to infer this message...but i probably wont be elaborating it so much since its personal

So on to it...NYPSS OPEN HOUSE WAS A BLAST! yeap..past 3 days was nyp open house and perhaps some of you attended it...but realized i said NYPSS and not NYP...well becuz i believe if i was in another course i may not have that much fun...i really believe it truly was the people in social sciences class that made this event such a great one...love you all! :D

so of course..first day was apprehensive...really did not know how things will turn out...at the start it was kinda worrisome..since it appeared like there was not going to be anyone...but suddenly...there were floods of students coming in due to the school tour and their secondary school sending them to nyp...my goodness...our class became so crowded that we had hardly enough room to move...i found myself going hyper and moving around doing as much things as i can to make the most out of time...and of course...i believe that most of my classmates were doing the same too...then in the afternoon...the chaos continues but i was down at the atrium and i nearly fell asleep...damn was it boring...we were there for about 3.5 hours and it was the worst...there was not much interaction and probably the only funny thing was seeing Jim(our lecturer) on one of the TV screens introducing our course...boy that was funny...it kinda looks like crime watch where the police person was talking about crime and all...it was hilarious...but other than that...nothing much

then we went to the second day and the crowd we got simmered down to a manageable amount...its was kinda the same as the first day...but this time it was all the way into the night...and around 8 plus..some of my frens when ape shit and started dancing to funny music and just getting really high and crazy...boy this really is the first time experiencing such funny and awesome classmates :D...really made my day :D

then the last day was boring...kinda...since it was saturday there wasn't much traffic...so we had a lot of slack time where we listen to Jim and Jocelyn and all the funny things they had to say...my gosh we were laughing like mad...then of course 3 of my frens were geniuses by going for the school tour when it was meant for outsiders :P...and they actually managed to escape detection...even though jerry and CJ's face was printed in the course booklet and there is a gigantic poster that was about 3 storey high with CJ's face as one of the pics...my gosh..the experience they shared made me laugh once again...but of course...my mood had to be ruined by this person with the very cocky kinda face...jeez...for some reason i really could not control myself and now i owe CJ 6 lollipops for swearing 6 times :P

well so as you can see...was quite an eventful 3 days...and probably the best open house i ever attended/organized/helped in...and like i said...this Joy was becuz of the people around me...so thanks class for making this experience possible :D

alright...back again...and fine already :P

This time no joke...but a poem i heard from nigahiga...roses are red, violets are blue...then what the hell is the colour violet?

i laughed like mad at this...but it makes a good point :P

anyway..everythings fine now...so back to normal...sigh...school starts tmr and what a curse...all the secondary school people gets one more day of holidays except poly students...damn...we poly students are like adults so like our parents...we wont get extra holiday...well then since we're like adults...why cant we take leave like adults too :(...no fair :P

anyway...projects are going so so...homework im hoping is all done...went for a wedding just now and now have small headache...but after the wedding i now cant wait to get married and start a family :P...haha...its like such an interesting phase of my life...but my style still stays...not willing to sacrifice freedom...i still need to play play...or not later when go work no time to play liao :P

ok then..so now with the prospect of facing school and a tsunami of projects...and finally...the judgement day of exams...its time for me to go sleep :P

Mood is in the all time low now...its 12.52 am...i cant sleep...not until something happens...but i've been waiting...but it did not happen...i've been hoping...but it never came :( and this reminds me of a phrase.

"I now understand the true meaning of time. For it is the bond between friends that give time its meaning" - Vector Prime

Sigh...i believe i said before...being ignored is the worst thing that can happen to me, or that you can do to me. Most of my frens now already know that im a pessimistic person...im trying to think more positively, but my upbringing has made me see the good in negative thinking and this is hard to change...so when im being ignored...my head immediately starts working overtime and i start to wonder why im being ignored...what have i done to deserve it...or what the other party is going to do...i hate the feeling...i've already felt like a wall for so long...so such things really pains me and brings me down to deep-six. i constantly feel pain in my heart (literally...my chest sometimes may suddenly hurt) as i feel alone and ignored...have you people ever had this weird feeling when a bunch of people all leave together leaving you behind in a room...theres this weird feeling you will have that will tempt you to quickly go catch up...or at least...thats how i feel...i dun like being left behinds...the feeling affects me quick greatly...

So why am i still awake at this time?...i really dunno too...i did not sleep yesterday due to countdown and playing with frens...by right today i should be sleeping like a pig..but i cant...i cant fall asleep...i hope i will soon...the faster i sleep means the faster i escape the feeling of loneliness...i've been waiting...but it never came...im so used to having this "ritual" at night that now when suddenly it does not happen it feels so weird...

What worries me more is that i think the person is angry with me...i dunno...perhaps my negative mind is working again...but why else will he (no its not a girlfren) ignore me totally...sms...calls..everything short of me going straight to his house...have i made you angry?...if i did please tell me...dun ignore me...what happened to confrontation...or self-disclosure...or all those things we learnt...why use the method that will hurt me the most...i know it will never be your intention to hurt...but then i need to tell you...it hurts...no one can understand how it feels...when you have only a few people you can trust and treasure as frens...and these people ignores you...it leaves you an empty vessel at sea...lost with the same scene in all direction...you know how that feels...to be lonely...all you people are lucky...to have so many frens that you can throw some away and still have others...well too bad for me..i only have some frens who i can say i would trust my life to...so when they are gone...i might as well go hide in a forest and stay away from civilization...do you know how awesome a forest is...to be alone in there...since im already alone..might as well go spend some time with trees...or freaking ghost that calls your name pleadingly...

hmm...even as i read thru what i've typed...it doesn't seem to make sense...im just pouring out everything once again to this place..thanks Mr.blog for always taking my crap...

i dunno...i can dare say that im just being paranoid here...and probably everything will be fine soon...but it does not change the fact that im in my lowest of moods now...its no ones fault except mine...im sure any of you when faced with this will get thru it..but i cant..im not the kind that can get thru this..becuz frens are too impt to me...did you know that all these time...i've been thinking of what happened?...whether i made you angry...or you're sick...or you got into trouble...or your phone spoil...or my message not getting thru...so many things been racing thru..and i dun know which one is true..please...let me know...dun leave be alone... :(

well enough of these...i dunno what else to say...im just hoping that everything is fine or at least..will be fine soon.