well its been ages since the last post..sorriez :P

Anyway...heres the phrase of the post..."if you have nothing good to say...keep quiet :P"

yep seriously...thats the phrase...and my mum love to say that...and now that i think of it...it really is a good phrase...i acknowledge that sometimes we may wanna correct someone for the better...but the way we phrase our sentence could be rude and all...so sometimes we may end up hurting someone more than actually helping him.

alright...so now for updates...holiday life seems to be simple..nothing much been happening...went to jurong bird park...was kinda fun...especially the panorail :P...then of course had some hunting time with frens...my monster hunter just started a new character...now using bow :P...and of course i went to sakura with my family and ate till i was fat!!...damn need to control those food that enter my mouth :(

but the bulk of my holidays was spent thinking of someone ( now before you all start thinking that i got a GF...answer is no) he's just another normal fren but the troubles that seems to plague him are perhaps not so desirable...but most pissing of all are his "friends"...my goodness...i question if these frens really care for him...general story is that he loves someone that probably does not love him back and that hurts him a lot so sometimes he updates his mood on FB...but these "friends" of his only seem to care about WHO he likes rather than consoling him...perhaps i dun know the full story or something...but as it stands...that is a pathetic way to treat your friend and it disgust me that they can be so insensitive...but still...perhaps im intruding in his life...but he really should start to figure out what life really means :(

but with that aside...should not worry so much over things...let life slide...that how i like it...and i could count up at least 5 other people who would say that thats NOT the way to lead life...well then too bad...my life is not yours :P

backs from camp....and i've decided to start something new...from now on...all my post will begin with a saying or phrase...with perhaps my perception on it...so i got things to say :P

So my first saying will be : Listening is love (or the other way around..same same)

learnt this back at the start of poly...first lecture for counselling i think...Jim said this and i found it really goo...why?...becuz we live in a world where solutions are the most impt...myself guilty...and we seem to forget the joy of just being listened to...sometimes we shouldn't be so eager to jump in and give advice...maybe chill and just be a listening ear...that alone can be the solution itself :D

So anyway...im back from camp...the camp was ok..but i really would rather have slept at home...it started quite badly though...the group i was in were losing almost everything...and there was just this feeling inside me that the grp was not motivated...myself also actually :P...but inside me...i...being myself...blamed myself for being a jinx...maybe im weird...but i seem to always end up on the losing team one...so i blamed myself for causing their lose...

but im really surprised...the group on the other hand were so motivated...they continued to try their best and to give it their all...even though it was quite obvious that they we're kinda de-moralized...but they PERSEVERED on...not giving up...wow... and they weren't the type that blamed each other when they lost...nope...they instead let it slide and go on with things...or even laugh about it :D...i felt like i was back in my social science class again...im glad that at least in this world...there are still some who can behave so socially.

then after lunch...we had our team games called 5 stations and things started to improve...we went around having fun and learning together...perfecting our cheer and constantly just laughing...was great...but the real deal came after dinner :D

we had this building game where we had to use scraps to make a tall and stable building...after we're done...ours was the 3rd tallest...but i was quite sure it wasn't stable...our base was kinda like a cube made out of stick...like how you would draw a cube...didn't look really stable...and the part that made our building tall was the long and slim thingy on the top :P...it was so unstable and wasn't even securely fastened...we're thought we were screwed comparing to the other groups tall and majestic building...but lo and behold...we won...as the judges came by to test our towers stability...one by one the other towers fell...except ours...we were cheering like mad monks (inside joke) cuz of our first victory :D...the other groups made a fatal mistake...their top was too thick..so when the judges blew it...the wind was caught in the surface area and it brought the tower down...but for ours...it was so thin that when the judges blew it...the wind simply went around our thin top...amazing!!...even when the judges decided to push on it...it shook..but still stood :D...from this i actually learnt something...even when something look frail and weak...it may not be the case...even if it looks weak on the exterior...the will be properties that will allow him to brave the strongest storms in life...everyone has something strong in them...even if its not on the outside :D:D:D

so after that we were quite high...then we found out that the next main programme ( which happens the next morning) is SHS Idol (SHS=school of health science)...we had to perform as a group displaying at least 2 of 3 items; dance, song, skit...since we were so high at that time...we really brainstorm and came out with the silliest ideas...which we really did use in the end :P...our story was basically santa getting lost and meeting 3 monks (our groups name was 3 monks)...they then had a culture exchange...sounds boring...too bad you did not see us in action...but that night...we ironed the story out and practiced it...we then went to bed probably feeling good about ourselves :D

night was interesting too...i joined a couple of the senior mentors and we went ghost hunting in NYP...shame...did not encounter anything absolute...but did encounter small things that could be dismissed....but it was an interesting night.

the next morning...was breakfast and some really intense morning activities...then it was SHS Idol...among the 5 group...ours was chosen to go last and they made the right choice...they saved the best for last :D we were kinda nervous when it was our turn but when we were at the front...all fear was gone and we gave the best performance we could!!...to awesome results...gonna be hard for me to describe our performance in words but i'll try...there may be a video of it if i can get my hands on it :P

basically it starts of with a nerdy narrator who was prepared to bore the audience, but suddenly changed to become more energetic...not my idea...but i was the narrator and i was "persuaded" to do that :(...but still...i did what i could :P...then it starts of with me narrating about how santa was on his way to deliver presents when his GPS failed...he then went on foot and got lost...he met 3 monks who was apparently meditating and not bothering when he called them...so he got bored and started singing "jingle bells"...and while he sank...the monks slowly started to bob their head to the tune and when he ended...the monk suddenly got up and told him that he is in their territory and should sing their version...this part i really cant describe but this was the best and funniest part...the audience we're laughing like mad and everyone was having fun...then after that the monks gave santa an Iphone 4 with GPS and the story end...sigh...in words like not so funny lei...those who got my facebook you all keep a lookout..if i get the video i'll upload it... :D

but thats not all...WE WON THE SHS IDOL!!!...our hard work paid off...we won becuz of our originality and creativity in our act...and damn was i happy...felt so different when i was in a team that actually won something :D...we didn't win the overall best...but personally...i think SHS idol was the best time for me...and i believe for the rest of them too :D

i realized that our group started off on bad foundations and roads...but it was becuz we never gave up and continued too support each other...we made it and ended the camp with a bang!! it really was a great experience =)

but still...sleeping at home seems more appealing lei..but i guess i would not have had this really long post to write of if i did not go...the camp did me good so i dun regret going :D

well thats all for the past days...tmr going the jurong bird park with my family...go see big and small birds(trying to be stupid here :P) so i guess tmr may be an eventful day...maybe i'll throw my brother into some bird cage or something :P

Tis the season to be jolly...

What a great end of the first half of semester 2 :P...well...even if thats only 2 weeks of holidays....its still a welcoming reprieve...both for us and perhaps our lecturers :D but for me...i still have an accursed camp to go to...damn :(

well anyway...last day of school...everyone seems so jovial and happy :P there were laughs and joy...even if it was during lectures itself :D...then of course...being the social work class we are...we gave a Christmas surprise to an unexpected person...a cleaner who always helps to keep our class clean...she really is an awesome person...coming in the our class...cleaning and sweeping...but always happy and with a smile...so of course...we gave her a surprised complete with gifts and pictures :D...makes we feel so warm and fuzzy inside...now i wonder how i can still be a Grinch :P

Then of course i was hunting with my kor kor...and boy is he getting good at it :P...spent sometime hunting before meeting my other 2 trustees CJ and peggy (my kor kor ted being the 3rd one of course...not ranked) and together we had dinner to celebrate the start of holidays...

damn im mortally afraid of sashimi now...i spammed too much :P...stomach nearly blew...but sakura was such an awesome place...and they have this little sign saying not to waste food...and people will be charged $5 per 100 gram of wasted food...so we realized we had left over so what did we do?...we stuffed food under as much remaining shells and other debris we could to hide the food...peggy was the best...first she managed to stuff so much meat under one of the oyster shells...then she was cutting up pieces of meat while caroling " falis navidad" so innocently...couldn't stop laughing :P...then we got ambitious and devised so many fantastic ways to hide the food...and we got away with it :P...can only wonder how the people will react when they flip over the shell only to find chicken meat in it :D

then after that we walked a short ways to the mrt and Ted entertained us with his impression of a drunk person...boy that really sealed the day of fun for me...Thanks a lot for all the fun things...and i now know that even if i were to feel that no one gives a damn about me...i know that at least the 3 of you cares...and thats enough for me :D

so of course now im at home...tmr gonna have things to do but oh well...for now..im feeling fat and tired :P...but not planning to sleep anytime soon :D

Tired

its 12.47...and imma tired...kinda long day for me...got school...then must wait for 5 HOURS before going for some weird briefing for a camp that is on the first 2 days of HOLIDAYS!!...haiz...thats 2 days wasted...and of course the abundance of things i need to do during the festive seasons...sigh..i really feel like a Grinch this Christmas :P

but then again...cant wait for class outing and those joyous stuff...but those comes after the accursed camp..dammit...

well..nothing much happened today i guess...besides playing truth or dare with frens...OH OH!!...and people these days cannot keep their attention on one things for long...damn irritating sia!!

Commitment...

Sigh...loads of commitment...but mostly to myself...own decisions to study and get reasonable results...make the best out of my life...and a bundle of other things...commitment seems to guide us in life...and maybe it does.

so one more commitment im adding to the list is to update my blog more...after all...CJ did a great job with the skin and i dun wan it to go to waste...and its also good to fill this up so that im not wasting my server space on blogger :P...but also that sometimes...things happen to me that i dun wanna verbally say out...so this shall be the channel :D

so update...playing MHP3rd now and really enjoying...got loads of people to share the joy with and thats all great...only prob is that i fear that i might get addicted to it and not study...hoping not...thats why after the 2 weeks break i'll start studying liao...hope can make it...but still worried

have you all notice that educators are weird...as you advance in school...the things you learn generally get harder and you have to put in more effort to keep up..meaning that your chance of doing not as good as the previous year is higher...i think all educators know that...but when you do not perform as well as last term...they blame you for not putting enough effort or being complacent...its NEVER abt the lessons becoming more complicated...i wouldn't mind if they say i did not put in enough effort...but it pisses me off when they say its complacent...they are making an accusation without proof...as most people do... :(

but oh well...its a new education for me and its time to see if anything has changed...in primary school...i was accused for not putting in enough effort and grades going down...oh and also being complacent...but back then i did not know what it meant :P then in secondary school i changed tack...i did terrible at first and then slowly got better...this time...the reaction was awesome...BUT when i did badly suddenly...again it was the accusations...but then again...this time i was really lazy to study maths :P...so now..in poly...did well for first sem...but the new modules look so awesome-ly difficult...im sure i wont do as well...lets see how my educators will react...

well i guess thats all...now hoping that tomorrow i will be disciplined enough to post again...hope so :P

YAY!!...imma happie kitty again!!...woots

Anyway...all a misunderstanding..all of us are humans after all...no point making a fuss...anyway..imma back to the same old mwe again...and gonna play MH with my bro later :P...and playing gunz with my frens :D...so everything fine again...thanks to my greatest kor kor bear :D:D:D

A long wait later :P

Been so long...and i realized this blog will only be filled if there is something biggie in my life...oh well

Anyway...Monster hunter portable 3rd is out but i still cant play it...damn Sony and their security :(...but still not gonna give up...and schools been ok i guess...things are still interesting but can feel anxiety of exams...Yin luns back frm australia...edwin and alex O lvl are over...so i guess they're having fun :(

Anyway...had an awesome day today playing captains ball and passing balls around with my classmates...been a long time since i last exercised...and also wore the same shirt as my kor kor....earning ourselves some teases...but i guess im used to it already :(...but kor kor wasn't happy...sigh :(

well...my mood totally got ruined with facebook and the insensitive people it houses...totally got me pissed off...the the best part is that he/she doesn't even know he/she made me pissed...and still go on to rub it in....please...go %&*$ yourself :(

but anyway...got into a cold bath to cool myself down and now im back here...the post on FB still pissed me off...maybe thats why im here...

I think its so unfair that girls can be so close to each other and no one else gives a damn...but when you are close with a guy and treat him as a brother then people say you're gay...whats the different between girls and guys...either way...you have someone you trust a lot in your life and these people seem to go all out to ruin it...

So here i state a very firm stance...if you dare to do anything to ruin my friendship and brother-ship...you gonna get it from me...and im holding back my language...but suffice it is to say...i will have nothing to do with anyone who tries to ruin my friendship...

Pulled thru...again

Once again...my great brother pulled me thru again...and those who expressed concern...call me self indulging...but those comments really means a lot to me...its good to know that people care :D

Anyway...storms over...time to get on with life...i cant just give up on my passion like this...it would be a waste...theres much more worry going on in the world...much more than these small things i go thru

Of course all of you heard of the latest news of the slashing case where 20 innocent bystanders were slashed...theres something worrisome going on...first Darren...now this...singapore is gonna have a lot of problems on their hand...so its best if we don't go out too late at night...dun attracted attention to ourselves...steer clear of any suspicious activities...

Well...guess more is soon to come...all we can do is hope that this storm will clear quickly...

Im almost giving up....

I cant keep it up anymore...i just cant...everytime i want to say something with good intention...i end up screwing it up...i dun even trust myself to speak anymore...perhaps its becuz im not putting my message thru the right way...but i really dun mean any harm...i really was worried and wanted to help...in case its too late...but my message never got thru...i fail in communication skills...who am i to think that i can help others..especially when i cant even help myself...

Silence is my worst enemy...one of my classmate said before..."just dun talk to him for 1 week and he will come crawling back to you"...i admit...its true...so very true...now all of you know my weakness...happy using it against me...but i really cant take it...i cant take silence...ignoring me is the worst things anyone can do to me...it pains me to no end...but things were never about me...no...i try my best to help others...but unsure if i ever succeed...i always put up a strong front...so that others would not have to worry about me...for me..its all about others...but sometimes not getting a respond is even more hurtful...but if i think like this...then im not really helping becuz i want to...

I no longer trust myself anymore...for those whom i am someway or another helping...im sorry...i dun think i can continue...im gonna still go on studying...perhaps theres still hope for me...but as of now...im not gonna take any chances of ruining a persons life...i guess its safest to simply not talk unless needed...

But im not gonna give up...not for the long term...i dunno how long i can last...but i know there are people who still loves(not BF GF kind) me...and even though its those whom i am closest to that i hurt the most...im still gonna try...untill i run out of energy...im not gonna stop trying.

WOW!!..its been ages since my last post

Well then..more updates...back to school...finally...but new modules are really heavy and complicated...better gear up...still trying to be more positive thinking..but usually end up being negative again...its in my genes i tell you!!...

more or less things are the same...got more questions bombing in my head..but will answer them one by one...till then... :P

Reminiscing...

Was flipping thru old pics and was just thinking of what great and awesome frens i have...they have played huge parts in my life...found out how important frens are to me and im grateful for them in my life :D

anyways...i have been practicing dream recalling for the sake of one step further...which is to go astral travelling...seems so interesting to try anyway...maybe one day i'll visit others in their dream :D

WHOO!!...wad a meaningful day

decided to volunteer at a childcare at eunos primary school...was actually seriously nervous..."wad if the kids dun like me?" or "wad if they dun wanna talk"...but after reaching there...realised that they were such a friendly bunch...they were eager to talk and play..immediately felt attached to the place already...playing with them was a joy

To the the kids enjoy and have fun...it was such a good feeling to see them happy...feeling this reassured me that im doing the right thing and this is what i would wanna do in future...bring happiness to others...after all...they're kids...they're supposed to have fun :D

well...will probably be going back soon...but i still wanna enjoy my holidays...thats important too :D

AWW man im confused :(

Most of you all would know that im a christian already but for some reason i dun feel like i am...i mean...i really do wanna believe in God but when i pray and things like that...i dun feel the conviction...even though i've seen so many examples of his existence in many things...but i just cant bring myself to believe in him as much as others do...and after much reading up..i found out why

Its the Bible...i have no problems believing that the Great One sits upon his Holy throne up in heaven...but i have problems with the Bible...the things in the Bible are so...so...i dunno...theres many things in the Bible that i do not agree with...and i dun believe whole-sale...its like...parts of the bible i can believe...cuz its been proven...some parts i can believe becuz of faith...but some i just simply cant...just the very thought of what the bible is saying seems so...with lack of better word..evil :(

An example?...Zechariah 14 1-2...god says..." the city will be captured...the houses ransacked..and the women raped...yes..God said this...he allowed the women to be raped...perhaps i dun understand the full bible...but this was in the new testament...and it just seems so evil a God portrayed :(

Another is Luke 12 47-48...this section in my bible is in red...which means its the word of christ...it says " That servants who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows...This part perhaps shows that you have to follow authorities...which would be ok...but my concern is that they allowed slavery...the Bible is Gods word and this is the words of Christ...its as if they endorses slavery...shouldn't slavery be stopped?...why is it still there and "rules" are even made for slaves to follow...maybe guidelines is a better word...guidelines are made for Masters as to whether he should punish his slave and on what conditions...

its such things in the bible that worries me...and just a note...this 2 examples are frm the new testament...many argue that the old testament portrays the wrath of god...while the new one shows a more loving one...?????

there are many more examples...but you get my idea...i really still want to believe in him...but im not gonna say that i believe the Bible 100%...cuz there are somethings in it i dun wanna believe :(

Haiz...I let jealousy get the better of me

Not in the really bad way though... but why is it that im so affected when someone does something that i cant... :(

Why is it that some people can eat super nice things almost every dinner...or go for courses or lessons to improve themselves or their talent...or get what they want without worrying too much about price...some peepz meals can go up to over 20 bucks while mine usually only abt $5...and their fathers can be so nice while mine is the MAIN reason why im feeling like that...i guess im supposed to appreciate him but sometimes its just so hard to do that...

im pretty sure today he'll irritate me again...he does that so much it seems natural already...and i can already tell he's about to open his beak to sprout worthless comments that does not contribute to any improvement...it pleases him to just say things that dun contribute anything and then just say it to irritate people...and only he can be angry..when he angry everyone must give in to him...but when others angry he gets angry becuz we angry...the way he eats reminds me of.......arrgh forget it..i can go on forever making this post endless -.-

what an eventful few days

Well...havent blogged for ages...so i believe you people will be surprise to hear this

IM A CHRISTIAN NOW!!...seriously!!

im not sure how to explain really...but then i've followed my instinct in my life and it always worked out for me...so instincts told me to go for it...but then again..is it instinct...or is it something else?

anyway...had a sleep over at my kor's house cuz his parents were having a church cell outing to a goat farm, mushroom farm and orchid farm...so i went over on friday and stayed overnight...the thingy was on saturday...and then stayed overnight again till sunday(today)

its was also thru these 3 days did i feel the change :D...i must really thank theodore (kor) and his family for sharing the word of god with me...at first i was still the usual...not believing and all...but then on saturday when i attended service...somethings the pastor was sharing surprised me so much...and then something seemed to click into place...and i realised that he may be true...my testimony is kinda personal and still not really comfortable with sharing with random public now...paiseh :P

but suffice it is to say...im feeling much more than i ever felt...seriously...tts why i said i dunno how to explain...but im happy with my decision...and i must really thank all the people in my life...especially those who have tried to open my eyes...theodore...peggy...jerry...nicholas...alvin...mr wee...edwin...and im sure many more others...thanks so much...

well..im sure my life will probably be much more interesting now..its kinda like a new journey for me...and im blessed to have great frens and God walking along with me :D

WHOO!!...tired day...

But it was FUN!!...woke up late and rushed to school to do spring cleaning on our class...and it was so fun...its funny to see Jim going nuts over cleanliness ...and to see him and jocelyn bicker around :P...then seeing teddy's blur face while vacuuming and talking abt sexual appetite:P..i cant believe jocelyn said that :P...but still...it was fun to spring clean together :D...so many laughs and joy :D

Then later had lunch at Manhattan fish market...guess thats the part where my spirits lowered...as usual...experiencing weirdness in my brain again...but MOOOVING ON!!

We watched Inception and it was such an awesome show...really made you feel smarter :P...its really a great show and worth the time...

Well...tts all really...may not seem much but such things are really meaningful...we only have ONE life...we need to treasure it to the fullest....and make the most out of it!

YOG FLAME!

WAH...today got to see the YOG flame live!...kinda cool for an experience...but the wait was boring as hell...we waited almost forever just for the flame to come...and then after the flame pass we went back to goofing ard as usual..

now im super tired and need rest man...too muchh screaming and yelling

The term is coming to an end!

ok who am i kidding?...not yet...but soon

WELL!!!!...the test was hard...HARD!!...jeez...but still..its over...no worries for the test...

But after these few months...theres so much to talk abt that i havent talked abt...

Jim and Jocelyn is right...not all of us practise what we have learnt...we spent hours learning about communications and so many other valuable skills and all we use them for are in our test and exam...we need to apply them more to our life...

After today...i realised how much has happened in the class...i always thought that the class bonded quite well and i still think so...but that is becuz of my past in secondary school...this class showed a bond that i never experienced before...i never felt the same bond in sec sch...so maybe to you all its normal..but to me its not...it GREAT!...but i guess after hearing wad some of my fren said...i kinda agreed...we said we bond but did we really bond AS A CLASS?...maybe not...

It wasnt fun to see the atmosphere in class these few days...things no longer seemed like the fun and happy living in the first few weeks...maybe its natural...we all have our differences..and there will definitely come a point where we will have conflict...but come on peepz...we just had a test on conflict management!

But still...its gonna be hard...we have 2 and a something more years to go...i believe we can be one united class...but its gotta start somewhere!

Reading all those comments on facebook really put me through cognitive dissonance :P...i always thought we were a united class...but after reading what some of you said...i think otherwise...we really need to practise empathy like we learnt...we're gonna do this for the rest of our life...why not start now?

Im gonna do my best to help.....

But another thing that makes my blood boil...LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT AND CLEAR...THERE IS NTHING WRONG WITH BEING CHILD LIKE OR CHILDISH!! to all you nut cases that likes to live life in a square box...think abt this...what if someone tells you that you too serious...dunno how to have fun...wad will you think? Yes...at our age we are supposed to be serious and i agree...but why take the fun outta life...not saying that serious peeps cant have fun...but ever heard of the term "child at heart"?...some of us...myself included...like to have fun in life...and some of it includes behaving more child like...never forget that children can be very innocent and fun loving ok?...I found out that i really really HATE serious people...as in those that are forever serious and dun have fun...so those of you who thinks you're serious but can have fun...reeeelax...you're normal...this message goes out to those who are serious and cant have fun....LOOOSEN UPP!!!!...Jeez....I spent most of my time bumbling around...but when work comes i can get serious...but not too serious...theres a fun side in work too you know...i hate it when people say...its work time...get serious...thats bullshit!...we can have fun while working too!

ok..that felt good :P...oh well..finally a decent post after all these boring ones...:D

GOSH!

studying Dynamics of Interpersonal Effectiveness (DIE!!) now...and its a horror!!

So many little terms to understand...one lecture can have abt 5-10 different terms or points to take note of...jeez...

cant wait for the test tmr to be over...then its YOG time!!!!...YES!!...maybe i'll study a little...but its a break..cant wait for tmr to be over!

RAWR!!...studying studying :(

Why?...well..cuz everyone else is studying as well -.-...rats..

and speaking of rats...mousehunt on FB actually quite cute lei :P

anyway...just found out my results of 2 of my ICA presentation for social work...one A and one B...satisfied :D

and also...im writing a new book...its abt ants!...but as usual...too lazy to continue writing...but must write lei..like very interesting to write a book ! :D

anyways...everything else is the same lo...nthing new :(

terms coming to an end liao...with study break ( translates to holidays) coming up due to YOG...can sleep at home :D tmr oso no need go school...but must study..sian :(

Whoa...had a great week...rather ok..been doing loads of stuff :D

But what striked me most was a BBQ i went today...it started at 7...it was hosted by evangel church and open to public....there i saw there i saw something that i found so....*loss for words*

There was such a long queue...why?..FREE FOOD!...yes...half of the peepz just came for the food...no courtesy to even stay to chat...and worse was some shamefully just took the food ON PLATES and went home...saw one lady carrying 3 plates of piled high food going up the life while some others were seen eating rather far away from the area the BBQ was held...it toook only abt 30-45 min for all the food to disappear...and there were still queues!...god -.-

i went to yishun park with my frens and by the time i came back..no more food...poor me had to go home to find food for dinner :P...cuz i wont act like a starving dog going through scraps of food....and im proud to say that i did not act like a starving dog rushing for free food -.-

i mean...maybe some low income family do need to take the chance to grab while they can...but please do so with dignity...and at least stay to chat or something...dun just come down frm your house...queue...get the food...AND GO HOME!!!...gosh...but the pleasing thing too see is that the long queue comprised of mostly adults...probably parents in their 30s to 40s...maybe 50s...nice to know that these embarrassing habits are kept only mostly to the earlier generations...at least we teens are not affected :P...well most of us...

oh well...one more exam this week...dynamics of interpersonal effectiveness....hope it goes well :P

Phew...feeling damn tired now..got loads to do...first gotta prepare for tmr's role play....next comes the compilation of transcripts and printing...then must edit the role play videos...and finally do the proj for web design...walau eh :(

But still...COUNSELLING IS OVER!!!....and i think i did ok...friends told me i spoke slower and i think i got all the points :D...so that can throw behind me liao!

Well..nthing else happened much after that...same old...same old :P

But now im pulling my hair out becuz of the video editting...making me cry...all the video editting programs are horrendous :(...rawr!

Well...tmr's the last day of the week...finally...cant wait for the weekends :D

PHEW....wad a tiring day

Well...at least something to blog abbt today :D

sociology exam went well though...should have avoided a fail...maybe a B...but who cares...its over!! :D...but after that i was slightly pissed off by some arrogant person that i cant stand and is pushing my buttons to no end...im exercising alot of patience that im not known for :(...but still...not gonna let it get me down...but in case that particular person might be reading...dun harm those close to me or i'll personally make you pay.

but on the brighter side...had a huge amt of fun today...after the exam...CJ showed us a "ghost" video that made us laugh like anything!!...Then we were practicing for the performance and we were so happy together :D...i love the class :D...then we were dressing up our 2 models for the recycled costume competition...they look great lor...super impressed with wad the girls (and i think some guys) came up with all the recycled materials...then had to leave earlier cuz there was some pledge taking thingy that i was unhappily involved in :P...so had funny arguements with the other unfortunate souls whether we should escape or not :P...

then the celebration started and it was loads of fun...there were loads of screaming frm the girls and the sound was tremendous...im poor eardrums :(...even QC said that our class probably made the number 1 public enemy..haha...then the whole class went on stage to sing "im yours"...such a great experience for memory and bonding...especially since alot of us were stressed..this was perfect to release the stress :D...but the best part was that we won for the recycling competition...haha...after going back to our class we opened and found so many packets of drinks...coffee...tea...haha...hearing jocelyn and jim complain was funny :x

well...finally got the chance to have such a good time..tmr is counselling ICA...better start talking ssssllllloooooowwwwwllllyyyyy!!!

Tmr is the sociology exam!!!

At first wasn't that stress one...but then after going to school and seeing all the others studying and slogging like ***s...i now feel the stress...but not frm the exam itself..but more from the "peer pressure" :(...i know...it sounds weird..but i dunno...everytime i see one of them studying...i feel so pressured to do the same...but then i question why i study

Its like...are we really studying for ourselves?...many will immediately say yes becuz they want the results...but thinking again...do we really REALLY remember wad we study in years to come...do we rmb the math formula's we learnt in school?...i doubt so...at least not all...so does it all not boil down to one simple fact...we are studying simply for the results...you would say that i learn something frm it..but no..learning only occurs if there is a permanant change in your lifestyle!...if we forget something we learnt..then its not learning...so we study for the results whether we like it or not...we're engineered into robots that automatically start studying when the exams are near...gain the ability to vomit out all the facts when any other random days we cant even answer in a coherent manner...so wad are we?...we're robot studying for the sake of anything else BUT ourselves :(....sucks to be like this...i wont say im not like this..but im gonna be different!

For this sociology exam..im going to simply skim and scan thru and rely on all the lectures we had previously studies...using the information that i've learnt frm those lectures to take into the exam hall..im not gonna slog like ***s or study like robots...im not gonna draw out elaborate mindmaps or notes...im gonna go into the exam hall and use what have already been implemented in my life to answer the question...cuz things that are implemented in my life are the things that i've LEARNT!...not things that i force myself to remember for an occasion and then forget abt it!

of course...i dun expect an A out of this...or maybe even a pass...i may even fail the exam...if that is the case then i'll whole-heartedly accept the consequences....but at least i'll feel better knowing that i have not become "the beast that society engineered us to be".

GREAT!!!...even as i blog now im having the sociology notes on my lap..IMMA STUDYING!!!

ascribed status...achieved status...mechinacal solidarity...sanctions...and much much more which i already mixed up :(

jeez..and i realised i like to use the word jeez!....jeez :P

anyways...currently watching kumar videos to entertain me..and playing horror games...dunno why i suddenly got a thing for horror games now...well..tmr will be a simple day i guess...but wednesday comes the nightmare...got sociology exam and DIE presentation...I cant act to save my life and the presentation must have role-play :(...hoping the test will go fine...then on thursday got counselling ICA...and im still talking too fast lei :(...like that jocelyn later oso frustrated :x

oh well..guess i just have to hope that all goes well :P...

OH GOSH!!

Exams drawing nearner...next weeks gonna be a nightmare...counselling ICA..presention for DIE and sociology exam..gosh...what a filled week

well..so far..only studies for sociology...skim and scan...thats all T.T

but life's still great...got great people ard me and having fun!

frm the post..you can see that life for me still abit boring :x

Hey hey

haiyo..exam period is here already...now gotta study for sociology...tsk

but still...things are going ok i guess...class still have fun but can kinda see some stress setting in already...and as usual..like in sec sch...not feeling the anxiety..and not sure if i will ever feel it...but different frm sec school..i will actually study this time...as in really study...maybe can get GPA 4.0 :P..nah..jk...a 3.0 kinda enough liao

haiyo...at least the poly exam format is different...not sure if its gonna be difficult or not..but well...we'll see


today was kinda nice...got the cert for the sponsorship thingy...and as usual..lots of laughter with frens...

guess thats it so far...my life seems to be losing the colorful elements already :P...haha

Been awhile again since i last posted...cuz there wasnt much that happen

Just went to a bully free forum and it was quite good...a bit lengthy but quite informative...had an argument with my mum just now :(...and from that i realized something...even though i was taught to apologies if i am at fault...it does not mean the other party is matured enough to accept...i sincerely apologized to her but all i got was more complains frm her and ended up not improving at all...lamo -.-

oh well..not gonna bother too much anyway...as long as i know what i have done is right then thats all i care...but on the brighter side...met ms jie wen and eric and other counsellors frm childrens society...was nice to catch up with all of them...

well...thats about all i guess...boring right? :P

WOOHOO!!!!...im still alive and now super happy!!!

Just came out of the lecture hall...the test was kinda hard lei...but still got "A"...yay!!

Guess the coffee helped..im still feeling alert now...so cooooooll!!!

but the anticipation so high sia...waiting and thinking if i should click the button..then when finally click and see the A sitting there...super happy lor...best part is that those frens ard me all got As and Bs so all are happy :D

YAY!!!...im in school now and i made it without falling asleep.

the super concentrated coffee made me super hyper now..hee hee...most likely will survive through the whole day...yay!...now to worry for the test...but still...had fun :D

Update 3

WHEEE!!...im still functioning!!

match is over and congrats to spain and paul(octopus)

and i just ingested a cup of oil (coffee) and my energon level is at least at minimal functional level...

not sure how long i can last but hope this will keep me for the next day...now playing monopoly deal and planning to go see sunrise later at the reservoir!!

ok..this post even shorter...i need to ration my energon supplies

Update 2

WEEE!!!...its 4.27 and my systems are deteoriating already

The match boring lei....exciting part only got the trips and falls as usual :P...somemore now my optics (eyes) are losing juice...im seeing a bit blur now...but not gonna sleep...:D

gonna be a bad boy and try to stay awake :P...and also still got test...well..at least got study a wee bit :P...hope it helps :D

ok...gonna be a short post..need to conserve my energon :P

oh and i'll be speaking in robot more now :P..so heres translations :P

Optics=eyes
audio receptors=ears/hearing
energon/juice=energy
servos=arms

so far only got those..lemme go find more robot words first :P

Update 1

First Update for my "stay up monday"

Just ate macs and feeling fat again....watched "year one" just now and it was an average show...now watching soccer and im surprised im kinda glues to the screen...but not for the sports...rather the accidents and funny stuffs :P...feeling kinda sleepy a little bit but i think my systems will hold...will use my back up batteries...not planning to recharge anyway :P...

well...time to get back to the game...may update again soon :P

haha....must "au ye"

wee...currently at my frens house..planning to stay up the whole night liao...just went for a swim and now uber tired...was splashing around the pool untill damn out of breath...haha...then kenna wedgie untill swimming trunks got hole...:$
then later planning to watch movie and play games...must survive the whole nite lei...who free come talk talk with me on any channel as long as im on...msn...facebook...if both not on then sms meeeee :D
ANYWAYS...tmr got test still haven study much...then got ethics...scared sleep in jocelyn's class :P...hope not la...maybe might blog later again for an update...
haha..and i still cant get over the new blogskin..super organized...thx CJ :D:D:D:D

New thingys!!

WOOHOO!!!...notice the cool new skin...!!

My awesome fren CJ designed it for me and its much appreciated...thanks a lot for the effort :D..looks great! :D

haha...and today i made a weird accept...my fren invited me to his house for a stay over for the finals for soccer...and i accpeted?!?!?!...dunno why oso...but im definitely not gonna sit there and watch soccer..probably i'll be rolling around the floor or something...but still...kinda a good experience...and they not planning to sleep so if on monday you peepz see me sleeping in class..spare me :D...worse is monday got web design exam lei...jialat...but for the heck of it i think i'll take the risk :P

WEE...probably gonna wake up late tmr to super-charge my batteries for the next night...and thanks again CJ!!!

another meaningful day

Today was such a meaningful day...we went to cheshire home for a visit and it was a great experience
Met this kindly lady who is a resident there and she shared with us alot of things...she is also a winner of a competition and it was really impressive...even though she is physically disabled..she shows so much enthusiasm and happiness that we hardly show...it was great to see her smile when we were talking to her...she even knows how to play monopoly and really likes the game..haha...she asked us to play but due to time constraints..we had to decline :(
This trip really was meaningful and seeing them made me feel like helping and just seeing a smile on their faces...there i know that im in the right course...this profession is definitely the right one for me..to just see them smile.:D
well since i havent updated for quite awhile..heres a run down..past few days have been great...got through 4 presentation in 2 weeks...thank earth :P...smoked through quite a few of them though...test are coming up in week 16 and im kinda still lazing around...thats one thing that haven't changed since secondary school i think :x...been playing games...goofing around with frens and generally just haveing a great time...theres even more...but dun tell you all :P
okie..time to go tackle the chore of making dinner :(..boring la...but the fire is still on and im still here...so buai buai...*rushes off*

YAY!!...im glad to say im back to my old self again :D..after all these event of the past weeks
these events have really changed me...all the lessons learnt from all these events make me feel re-newed :D
and it also widen my eyes to my closest frens around me...all those who helped me when there was a need..i thank all of them for their presence
well...guess i should mention 3 peepz around me that i truly appreciate..and thats theodore, CJ and peggy...these 3 have always been with me for all the 11 weeks ( since we first met) and there is no better frens then them...we were there for me when i was seriously ill...buying porridge for me to ensure i eat...they've also sms me with concern when they find that im troubled with something...you know..all those sms really means a lot to me as those are the affirmation for me that you care for me...and i will do the same like-wise...
then there are also the rest frm my poly class..who have been, still are and probably will always be the best bunch of people i have ever met...Quek chin...who also chowed great concerned for me when i was sick..as well as also being the resident gamer :x...jasmine...always providing the fun and laughter...VJ...one of my role models..she's such a mature person and always being helpful for the betterment of the class...jerry...who takes in all our teasing and also a very mature person...just to name a few :D..of course..the rest of the class all had their greatness..i think i might do some sort of dedication for all of them soon :P
Then there are my lecturers who showed undying support to the class...Jim for showing so much concern when i was sick..and Jocelyn for being the first educator in my life that told me NOT to go school ( i was sick ma )...haha :D...I rmb Jim saying that the people that impacted him most was his mentors and i agree to that...only 11 weeks and both Jim and Jocelyn have impacted my life so much with what they taught in class...
Im so happy to be where i am now..i feel fortunate that i have such great people around me...i'll do my best to help them as well as assist them in whatever ways i can...and to be a great classmate to you all as much as you all have been the greatest class mates to me :D

WHEE!!!...thats 2 more ICA presentation down...4 more to go :D...
the presentation went smoothly today..except for the part where we ran out of time and i had to talk so fast i actually panted after it...haha..my poor classmates had to chase after my bullet train of a presentation :x
other than that...nthing else happened..besides me getting frustrated again over the incident yesterday..i need to contrl myself :(...and of course probably hurting those around me in the process....currently im glancing at my phone almost every minute and jumping when it lights up...waiting for some sort of response frm a very special person...who isn't responding :(...and no its not a girlfren -.-...
oh well...guess i should go cok now..before my dad comes home to complain that theres no food on the table

GRREEEEEAAAATTTT!!!!...i fucked up again :(
guess it was kinda my fault to post it on FB...now that lost me a fren...what a loser i am...great :(
she did have her reasons for doing such things...maybe i should have kept the disagreement to myself...but i guess i dun even knwo what im doing this days...im a failure...:(
im probably gonna retreat into myself these few days....maybe i need time to reflect on what i have done...this is my fault for interfereing with the matter...and i deserve the hate...and most of all..i've caused trouble again to the one im closest to :(...
Well..im going for a temporary "vacation" inside myself...maybe i might come back better...or feeling worse...who knows.............

YAY!!!...first day back in school...and fun it was :P
dun know why im talking like that :P...random...anyway...finally get to see my frens again..who turned our tutorial into a funny tutorial as usual...but the exercise was kinda sad...there were 26 people who were terminally ill and only 13 miracle drugs to cure them...so half of them had to die...so we had to decide who lives and dies...my client was a dementia patient, female, 86 and retired...in the end most of the others thought she should die cuz she could not contribute to society and she's old liao...quite sad la..and makes me wonder if in future im old will others throw me away as well :P...haha..but im thinking too much..its was a meaningful exercise :D...
other than that...i found out that one of my frens was kinda sad/angry/disappointed cuz he/she has been helping others but he/she is concerned that others will get complacent or take advantage...im disappoint to hear that cuz we should help becuz we want too...and not everyone has learnt the art of gratitude...but we should not ask for credit or recognition for what we have done...if not..then our rendered services has an hidden agenda instead of being pure...i felt that it was the wrong way to see things :(
Oh well...im not gonna worry too much...i'll still try my best to help others un-conditionally :D

ANGER!!!!...GRAWR>>>if you're not interested to read on then please dun..its kinda petty...but i dun even know why im angry...
SOOO...i thought today i will FINALLY be able to spend sometime with my secondary school frens...i thought today i can FINALLY catch up with them and spend the whole day with them...but then what happened?..some kid comes by and ruins the whole thing up...
When i met up with my frens the host said that there were some unexpected visitors; one of his other fren will be joining us...at first was kinda ok for me...i've met this other guy before and he seems like an ok person...but then when he came he mentioned abt his sister going for a competition or somethings like that which meant that the host...being the good and kind person he is...would wanna go to give moral support...which meant that our time together would be cut short for some last minute person...i made arrangements so that i will be free today and not interrupted...made sure no one else will ask me go out somewhere...and even skipped my grandpa visit for this...and then its ruin by some person who never made a single plan...then used his arsenal of games to further make our time together lesser by attracting my frens to go play his games -.-...and guess what..IT WORKED!!!...my dearest frens who goes crazy over games couldn't even hunt properly while their eyes were roaming all over the other games...
but what pissed me off is the fact that this fren is so insensitive to the people around him...all of us tried our best to arrange the day nicely and was looking forward to it..then he comes by with his own plan and doesn't even have the courtesy to give us an option...the host did not know abt the sister's competition until they came by..and once he knew..he immediately said he wanted to support her..im fine with that cuz thats being nice...even if it meant forgetting about others...but that fren just simply sat there happily...if i were him..the least i would do was to dissuade the host not to go..cuz he have other fren to attend to..but NOOOO...why would he do that?...GRAWR!
oh and i've never mentioned names cuz im SENSITIVE to your feelings!...do try and learn that skill..its pretty useful _!_

grrr...well...guess i wont worry abt this shit too long...not worth my time :(

ps...you know the worst thing...his name is actually the same as my bestest fren in the world!!!...what an insult :(

WAH!!...early post today!!
holidays are coming to an end :(...done nothing much that can be discussed here...went out a few times...did project a few times...kinda boring..cant wait to go back to school where all the laughters are :P...and now...finally can go swimming with old frens liao...cant wait...:D

WOW...these past few days have been the best days eva!!...not sure is it becuz its holidays or its just the times i had...theres so many things that cant be said here..but they sure made me happy just to even think abt them...gosh...but holidays are coming to an end soon...lucky im done with the work..now to tackle the 5 presentation...great..but still..gonna be a happy cat all the way :D

YAY!!...had such a fun day today with my frens :D
woke up early today to head to pasir ris to meet frens...then went to pasir ris to CYCLE!!!...but we ate at ananas cafe first...and sinthu started off the day in laughter...there was a chili bottle ( those soft kind ) that was kinda stuck...we couldn't squeeze it out..then sinthu tried and pressed it super hard till it burst out...then after that all of us super scared of that bottle..once someone come pick up the bottle..all of us fled :P
then after that we went to cycle at pasir ris park...took the single bike first and had an earth of a fun...then later tried those double bike...at first super scared but then later found out that it was super fun :D...then later we went to the arcade and i completely sucked at jurassic park :P..i cant shoot for nuts...
then later we went to jocelyn's house for the BBQ...i started off cooking some otah and they got burnt :P...well..not THAT burnt..still edible...then i gave up and started eating with the rest...had fun with jocelyn's 2 child...they super cute lei :P...then since i kenna sun burnt i look so red...hee hee...maybe they like reddish faces :P..cuz the younger girl smile at me when i played peek a boo...she smile cute lei :P...the stayed till abt 10 before leaving...
had such a blast of a day with great frens..im so fortunate to have all of them in my life...

Well....wad an interesting day today :p..suddenly went to malaysia for the sake of shopping with my parents...interesting i guess...but boring...not much transformers there anyway...was kinda boring day...cant wait for tmr P

WOO HOO!!!..imma happy cat...just went to watch nanny mcphee and it was kinda nice...im surprised cuz it looks so boring...but its a great show and i suggest you peepz give it a shot...
went to sakae sushi for dinner and ate katsu curry don...hmmm...stuffed myself full and feel FAT now :(
and the main thing of today is my latest addition to my TF collection...ARMADA MEGATRON!!
This guy is like 6 years old!...transformers armada first aired around 2004 and the toys came out almost the same time...im so surprised to see it sitting on the shelf together with so many other older transformers..but he's the oldest :P...and at good price too so i dashed into comics connection to grab it before the show...and spent alot of time at sakae sushi just looking at it :P...haha!

heh heh...was talking last night when i found out something...Jim asked us in class recently who already have a mask for this class and i was one of them who raised up my hand...at that time i felt like a fake-o...but then i realised yesterday that the "mask" i have in class is exactly how i am at home....its like...i had a mask in secondaryy school...but now in poly who i am is really who i am..no "mask" required :P

WEEE...had a mixed day today...
was forced outta bed to go get my passport thingy and forced again to wander around places that i dun like...rats...then later had lunch in some place on earth that i never knew existed...IM NOT FAT!!(random)...and then later went to bugis OG to exercise self control...saw a transformer and grabbed it immediately...then after wrestling with my inner voice then decided to put it back :P...felt the tug in my heart...sigh
then came home for awhile and then went out agian to pizza hut..tried the soccer pizza...was quite ok...but stuff myself like pig like that...now gonna become fat again...grrr...

YAY!!!...had a really happy day today...
started off a little boring...woke up around 12 to go for lunch...the lunch was ok...went to seoul garden and the sotong i was cooking exploded and flew to earth knows where :P...then later went to PC show to get a new memory stick duo for myself at good price...but the crowd nearly squeeze the life outta me :x
Then after that went to celebrate CJ's birthday and was super funny...first we were deciding what to eat and we ended up at burger king :P...then peggy said she wanted to go to the toilet and disappeared...but after awhile i got a call frm her asking me to come out...then i found out that she was secretly buying a cake for CJ but did not bring out her purse :P...but all was well then...we surprised her with the cake and nicholas even cuter...he pulled out 2 apples from a red bag that ppl use to go "bai nian"...looked so funny...then we went out to the fountain of wealth there and took some pics before leaving...
although the meet up was short..its was so enjoyable becuz it was with great frens...and that's all that is important...
but then wad a way to end off the day..my dad's trying to get me off the computer now...and its his birthday -.-

ARGH!!!...ARGH!!!!!...( dun continue cuz im gonna revert back to old self soon and theres gonna be quite a number of bad things )
IM PISSED AND F**KED NOW!!!...IVE CAUSE SO MUCH TROUBLE TO OTHERS AND HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT...WHY IS IT THAT YOU PPL CAN HAVE SUCH A CAREFREE LIFE...I WANTED IT TOO..AND I DID...BUT THEN THINGS MIGHT POP BY AND TEAR AWAY MY HAPPY, CAREFREE AND FREEDOM OF A LIFE...I MISSED THE TIMES WHEN ALL I THOUGHT OF WAS WHAT TO DO AFTER SCHOOL OR WHAT TO EAT...NOT CARING ABT THINGS LIKE "WILL SHE GET HURT AFTER SAYING THIS" OR OTHER THINGS LIKE THIS...I SHOULD HAVE HAD SELF CONTROL AND NOT RUSHED THINGS...NOW I SEEM LIKE IM IN THE WORST KIND OF OBLIGATION...AN OBLIGATION FOR LIFE!...LIFE!!!...THERE IT GOES...I WAN MY OLD LIFE BACK!!THE FREEDOM KIND OF LIFE...JUST BECUZ I LIKE TO HELP OTHERS DOES NOT MEAN I DUN NEED ANY HELP...BUT THEN WHY ARE THE MISTAKES I MADE SUCH MAJOR ONE...SO MAJOR THAT PPL ONLY RMB ME BY THAT...AND YET IM TREATED LIKE IM TRANSPARENT AND DEVOID OF EMOTIONS...IM STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED TOO OK?...

Im not saying that i no longer wanna help ppl...its just that i just found out that ppl are sad over something i did and this situation cannot be solved in a win win situation...its either i lose my freedom for that person's happiness or i get hated...i should never have started this at all...now i cant even find a solution for this...THIS SUX...WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE ME?...THE UNLUCKY THINGS ALL COME TO ME...IM RESISTING SO MUCH TO JUST RANT THINGS OUT BUT IT WILL RUIN SOME FRIENDSHIPS...AND I BELIEVE THAT THERES A SOLUTION...I WANT TO FIND IT....!!!!....PART OF ME IS SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW...IT USED TO BE GUILT...OR SADNESS...BUT NOW FOR SOME REASON IM SO FRUSTRATED...AND YET...I CANT FIND A COUNSELOR THAT CAN HELP...NOT MY MENTORS...DEFINITELY NOT MY MENTORS CUZ I'LL BE REPRIMANDED...I NEED ANOTHER COUNSELOR...PLEASE DUN BE LIKE THE OTHER PEOPLE AND IGNORE ME AS WELL...:(

Today was an ok day...not much mood...but something kept nagging in my head :(
Yesterday one of my secondary school sec 4 classmate msn-ed me and asked me a question that nearly made be angry/sad...i had a previous post saying that i felt forgotten or im easily ignored...well thats true...this guy asked me a simple question : "you got go for 10th anniversary?" !!!...what got me sad/angry was that i talked to this guy on that day and was standing damn near him during the prize presentation...only different table...but am i so transparent among them?...to the point that i can be beside them and not noticed...or maybe there was never a need to notice me ...:(..oh well...i dun blame the guy...at least he still msn-ed me..so its not too bad i guess...sigh

Oh well...but today was kinda fun...went on a visit to a youth center...kinda interesting there...they have 2 Wii consoles....how cool :P...visiting there really made me want to work with youths and children in future...but it can get stressful i guess...oh and jim is back but still sick...haha...but im not gonna make another fallacy of causation again...after school...had vyncent, teddy and CJ over to my house...still no idea for what -.-...

Well...aside from the msn thing...im a happy boy again...but i feel my lips getting dry..shit :(

ARGH!!...what a fiasco i made again -.-

was just reading a friend's blog and found out what a mistake i made...she needed the support and concern but i never gave it...why am i so bent on helping others when i cant even help those close to me...she went through so much...the least i could do was provide some emotional support...but i dun even know how to do that now...im afraid showing too much might send the wrong signal..causing more misunderstanding...while showing too little will seem like i don't care..so what is the moderate?...i never knew she saw me as completely not concerned :(...if you are reading this...im am still concerned abt you and will always do...just like everyone else..please so not see yourself as someone who dun deserve other's help...cuz did you know that thats how i feel?...how many times have you all helped me?...dun you think that everytime one of you helped me i will feel the urge to repay back...especially after the incident where i nearly fainted..all of you were so concerned...it made me feel so helpless...needing others to wait on me when you all should be doing constructive things like studying...i sometimes told myself as well that i do not deserve all this as well...but Jim told me to think " if you were in your frens shoe, will you do the same?...and would you ask for something in return? "...its true...if i help one of you...i would never ask for something in return...and i hope that you feel this way as well...i know the past few days i may ave shown little concern for you...but i do have a reason behind it..a reason that isn't convenient to write here...so plz...im still here as a support...dun see me as a person that doesn't care anymore...thats not true :)...like your brother said...the apple tree already vanished...chopped up...well...maybe...but even so...it can be made into a table or chair and continue supporting :D...

AWW...me sad sad again...im feeling healthy now but my lecturer told me on facebook not to go to school for the next 2 days...i'll be bored stiff if i stay at home healthy lei...but then i scared if i go school then y lecturer not happy cuz i may spread to others :(...gar...

How interesting to feel the sensation of fainting :P
haha...was in school today thinking im cured already...how naive...halfway through psychology lecture suddenly felt like vomiting...rushed out of the lecture hall and realized i was seeing everything blur and whitish...nothing could come in focus and i couldn't walk straight...so in panic...i tapped the nearest passerby to ask for help and thankfully she assisted me to a table where i could rest...thank earth that there are such people in the world...and i never got her name :(...oh well...but still...wad an interesting day :P
And also must thank my frens who was there for me...helped me buy fish porridge...which was pretty nice :P...and jim for sending me home...gotta find a way to repay their kindness one day :D
Okays...guess i should see a doctor soon and get some rest...must try and go school tmr...not gonna miss it unless im really dying...jkjk.

GOSH!! last night sucked....went to sleep at abt 11.58 and was tossing and turning around...had to keep visiting the toilet cuz i drank lots of water...and the weak body didn't help...body felt so hot and heated and also cold...it was like this for so long till i lost track of time...to me it felt like hours has passed and when i received a message i thought the time was like 2 plus...but it showed 12.59...i thought to myself " crap..need to suffer for the rest of the night " ...and that i did...continued tossing and turning and going to the toilet the whole night...and everytime i walked past the clock to see when the horror will end :(...finally...around 5 plus i felt my body cure a little and the fever broke...felt more energized even though i did not sleep....now...only got cough and phlegm...thank the earth...:D

GOSH...unlucky little me..fell sick and all...and have to keep it frm my parents so that they wont tell me to sleep early...i need to do research..
Well... despite yesterdays happiness..i fell sick with fever, headache and body ache...then this morning woke up with phlgem and flu...and now at night have fever and weak body again...dammit...hopefully cured tmr so that i can go school...last lecture before holidays are usually very impt...cant afford to miss it...
haiyo..too tired to even continue la...nitez ppl...still got a few more research to do

WOOO!!...backs frm NBSS 10th anniversary dinner...was kinda fun but to say the truth...playing sports with my poly class was more fun :P...
For some reasons...i no longer feel bonded to my sec 4 class...not totally forgotten but it seems i can no longer fit in with them..not that i ever had an easy time trying to...but this time i had no inclination to join in the photo taking and all this chat...i got this feeling that they also forgot a little abt me anyway...i dun rmb the boys inviting me much for their little gathering and all this outing...no longer feel connected to most of them...only a few did rmb and im glad they exist...thank god theres my teachers who still have the courtesy to rmb. :(
Well..im not gonna fret over my past anymore...im thankful i have 25 new and awesome classmates...people that i can trust...im putting the trust that once belonged to 4G2 to SS1001...not that forgotten 4G2 completely...its just that..since you guys could always go out without me...i dun think it will be hard to continue doing that...but i know there are some that are still awesome...dun worry...i wont forget you all...
well...enough ranting and self disclosure...im still gonna be in school happy and bouncy...after all..next week is the last week before holidays start...cant wait.

WEE!!!...its thursday again and had a great time playing sports with NYPSS frens again :P...badminton and captains ball this time...its good that the games exist cuz it helped me forget a bit of disappointment previously...
Lets start sad fist...had my counselling ICA today and i think i was the worst among all those who took their assessment today :(...jocelyn says i was talking too fast and jumbled my paraphrasing and questioning for one section...haiyoz...tried my best to be good...guess im not that lucky :P...but its ok....i was sad and now im still a little disappointed but im not gonna let it get into me :P...
Then after that the fun started...we had a time of silly photo taking and im still waiting for teddy to upload so i can use it as a profile pic :P...then we played some ball games in class...yes i know we should not do that :P...then finally we moved to the proper court...started off with a bit of badminton and a group including me was passing balls around...then finally the captain ball match started...was fun and could not stop laughing...sinthu kept falling throughout the whole game lor...poor girl :D...but anyways...the boys won the match but i can see im not on form to play captains ball..had a lot of attempted score but missed :P..too bad..
Then it was back to playing badminton and had a small match with jocelyn...was shabby compared to her....hee hee...she's quite good at badminton lei ( give me more marks for this ! jkjk ).
Then finally went home tired like crap...haha..today was fun i guess..if not for the counselling thingy :P...but next week wont be so good....guess theres gonna be alot to do...must enjoy our 3 days weekend well :P

Great..im sad again :(
I feel like a jinx...seems like everywhere i go i bring trouble with me lei...people nearly fell and lost their live becuz of me...caused others to have to go through trouble that i avoided...caused books in my care to be damaged...caused others to feel bad or worried becuz of me...caused others to feel sad becuz of my faults...the list goes on :( i feel like a curse or plague...
I think im gonna try and avoid unnecessary contact with others already...in order to protect their interest as well as my own...no idea why all this kinda misfortune falls on me...my lips keep getting infected...ulcers in my mouth...and some others that i dun even wanna say :(
Lucky the book thing was forgiven :(..or i'll feel like crap the whole week :(

Haha..today finally feels like a proper Thursday in social sciences context :D
I believe most of us had a great time there...feels good to finally get to play badminton again...and so many things happened today after the last tutorial :D...first we played silly gamez like concentration in class...:P...even jocelyn joined in...while jim was deciding wad forfeit we do if we are forfeited...then we played badminton in class which was kinda a disaster due to the lack of space...so we moved to the area downstairs our class block...there we played badminton and some of the girls was running around splashing water at each other...then jim had the bright idea of splashing water from his office and i kenna 3 times :(...after awhile jocelyn came down and even joined us for a game...who knew she could play badminton rather well?...she then told us something super funny...at first when she and jim was in the office they heard us screaming and making noise...they were thinking to themselves that it cant be us because they thought we were still in class...so they were saying that there was another class that was even crazier than ours...so they peeked outta the window and nearly fainted :P...its us!!...the title of craziest class is still ours :D...so we played a bit more and went home
Today really is one of the more fun days for me...a time where i could just enjoy myself and fells so good :)

Debate...and confusion...

WOO HOO!!!...congrats to the debate team!!...first competition of our course and you guys got second!!..thats really awesome!!!

And i really feel that our class is rather united when it comes to think kinda thingz..and that really rawks!!im sure the team will make it far..like all the way to the inter-poly competition!!..we'll always support you guys and gals!!
but more to private life...i've messed up again :(..just like about 1 year ago...same mistake and all :(..i feel like someone who haven't learnt his lesson :(...and that made me think more abt myself...but i kinda like myself the way i am and i don't plan to change it anytime soon...but i feel like a jinx that keeps hurting others around me...

Not really sure where i would go from here...just follow where the road goes as usual :(

Updating my life

Haha...so much has happened in the past weeks and im generally a happy boy :D
Being in nanyang poly social science ( NYPSS ) has been the best times of my life...I have 2 awesomest and greatest lecturers!...25 great friends...1 amazing environment and a lot more things...things im learning are really interesting and i enjoy wad i am doing and what i will be doing in future :) So many things happened in class that its endless if i talk abt it here...but just to sum up a bit...i slept in one lecture cuz of the camp...i found a " brother " i could trust everything to...and hunter to hunt monsters with...and something else that mustn't be said :P
workload is kinda piling up for me but not gonna let that stop me frm going on...using games to de-stress and its working some what...havent been meddling with my transformers recently and i kinda feel regretful...but still...i have other things to do :P
Been updating my other blog which contains extremist views that shouldn't be shared now...but that keeps me entertained
and theres also so much other things to say but i guess only ppl around me can see it :P...i know its kinda an abrupt ending but i cant think of anything to say anymore :P

yay...no more camp!!

YAY!! back frm camp and feeling good!..although the camp itself wasn't that fantastic but still...its over and i can get back to my more meaning-ful life :P ( NYPSS life...NBSS comes second :P )
no la..actually both are equally important to me...which is why even in camp im still thinking of whether jocelyn posted new work on the forum or not :D
anyways...the camp wasn't as enjoyable cuz i found myself feeling like a messenger pigeon..." justin, go tell alvin that..." heard sentences like this almost everytime i meet some higher authority...but that wasn't s bad for me cuz i get to run around and exercise...but then Jim was right..again. People tend to rmb the bad things and forget the good ones...i screwed something up badly and seems like thats what most ppl would be remembering me for instead of the boy who ran all over the place finding things and making sure that they wont starve to death...oh well..guess now im probably remembered by another thing already ( dun really feel like saying it cuz it sucks to recall it )
but other than that it was ok...kinda boring and walking around at night really helps you think...and for some reason...i dun really feel tired with only abt 2-3 hrs of sleep...the start i will feel tired but then further down would be energetic lei...but i think in my mind im really tired..
anyways...gonna start on some forum homework soon but first..gotta go for lunch..a PROPER lunch :P
Byes :P

Camp time

Woke up super late by my standards today...its camp time and for the first time im not the one camping :P...no idea hows its gonna be like on the other end of the " food chain" :P

but somethings isn't changed...my bag is still half packed...my pocket still has that special something and my torch is the only thing i like :P...
The times preceding the camp weren't that fun though...maybe cuz i was thinking of other things more than it..but still...hope i cant enjoy da camp...been sulking through the 4 yrs of camp and really see no reason to sulk through this year as well :P
SO...no post for Saturday cuz i will be there and if im not too tired i might post on sunday after the camp...OH CRAP..forgot to bring camera.* rushes off *

The past months :P

Yes..i finally know the effect of having a blog..its really good...
Anyways..my last post was abt 6 months ago i think and lots of things happened this past months...The O lvl results went well...poly entry went well...frens making went well...work did not go well :P...

Poly life was easy to adjust to but really hard to cope with the work and presentations. at first thought it was quite easy but then it turned out to be even harder than i thought :(
then there is the BB camp to settle and there were so much conflict with my roles as a student and helper...had to juggle around with things and it wasn't easy...i never understood why a helper had to do more things then the primers :(...maybe they have other more impt things to do i guess...both parties are right cuz we have our own priorities...but the things is how we cope with the things and not abt who gets what...theres truth in all perspectives. ( Pillow method )
hopefully i will be more disciplined to do more regular post now.
-Jus Ding Dong Tan :P