was just reading a friend's blog and found out what a mistake i made...she needed the support and concern but i never gave it...why am i so bent on helping others when i cant even help those close to me...she went through so much...the least i could do was provide some emotional support...but i dun even know how to do that now...im afraid showing too much might send the wrong signal..causing more misunderstanding...while showing too little will seem like i don't care..so what is the moderate?...i never knew she saw me as completely not concerned :(...if you are reading this...im am still concerned abt you and will always do...just like everyone else..please so not see yourself as someone who dun deserve other's help...cuz did you know that thats how i feel?...how many times have you all helped me?...dun you think that everytime one of you helped me i will feel the urge to repay back...especially after the incident where i nearly fainted..all of you were so concerned...it made me feel so helpless...needing others to wait on me when you all should be doing constructive things like studying...i sometimes told myself as well that i do not deserve all this as well...but Jim told me to think " if you were in your frens shoe, will you do the same?...and would you ask for something in return? "...its true...if i help one of you...i would never ask for something in return...and i hope that you feel this way as well...i know the past few days i may ave shown little concern for you...but i do have a reason behind it..a reason that isn't convenient to write here...so plz...im still here as a support...dun see me as a person that doesn't care anymore...thats not true :)...like your brother said...the apple tree already vanished...chopped up...well...maybe...but even so...it can be made into a table or chair and continue supporting :D...
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