Im almost giving up....

I cant keep it up anymore...i just cant...everytime i want to say something with good intention...i end up screwing it up...i dun even trust myself to speak anymore...perhaps its becuz im not putting my message thru the right way...but i really dun mean any harm...i really was worried and wanted to help...in case its too late...but my message never got thru...i fail in communication skills...who am i to think that i can help others..especially when i cant even help myself...

Silence is my worst enemy...one of my classmate said before..."just dun talk to him for 1 week and he will come crawling back to you"...i admit...its true...so very true...now all of you know my weakness...happy using it against me...but i really cant take it...i cant take silence...ignoring me is the worst things anyone can do to me...it pains me to no end...but things were never about me...no...i try my best to help others...but unsure if i ever succeed...i always put up a strong front...so that others would not have to worry about me...for me..its all about others...but sometimes not getting a respond is even more hurtful...but if i think like this...then im not really helping becuz i want to...

I no longer trust myself anymore...for those whom i am someway or another helping...im sorry...i dun think i can continue...im gonna still go on studying...perhaps theres still hope for me...but as of now...im not gonna take any chances of ruining a persons life...i guess its safest to simply not talk unless needed...

But im not gonna give up...not for the long term...i dunno how long i can last...but i know there are people who still loves(not BF GF kind) me...and even though its those whom i am closest to that i hurt the most...im still gonna try...untill i run out of energy...im not gonna stop trying.