A girl once told me "Guys are like this one...they are there when they need you...and once its done, and they have something else on their mind, you are left forgotten. That's why so many people divorce, cuz guys found something else in life"
Well...she was actually directing this at some of the guys...the divorce thingy was just the analogy...but back then i told her that its not true...that guys are usually quite loyal in terms of friendship, and that they may not always be there...but if you need them they will definitely come. She then shot back at me by saying "do they come back cuz you're important? or because they are 'bound' by that loyalty"...at that point i was struck dumb. Honestly...i dunno...i never had that experience before. Most of my friends are guys...and MOST of them are there for me when i need them. so thats what i told her...and she told me that i was lucky...but when she looked at the friends i have that were guys...she told me to be careful...and that i might be proven wrong soon.
BITCH! you were right -.- you win.
well ok lets be fair (my pride and ego setting in) you're not all right...you cant blame a guy for having his own life...and wanting his own personal life...girls want their privacy too right? so if a guy has something else i his life of interest then of course he cannot give you the attention that he has given...and at this point im shooting myself in the foot...cuz i just realized that mindset is what makes a guy unfaithful...ok i shall shut up and admit defeat now :P
But then again...what if a guy can give attention to all those things...i know of a couple which is so awesome...classmates of course...but he is a major gamer...but the girlfriend (ok she's a gamer too, lucky them) is also quite ok. They are happy together and i think the guy also gives his gf the attention she needs. so it is possible to spend time with important people and still with your personal life. but then again...not every guy is as wonderful as him. i'll make a mental note to defend his name in case it gets shot by other girls.
speaking of relationships, i recently heard a heart stopping thing from my BB captain. he was teaching (preaching) to the boys and he mentioned the different level of friendships. The maximum level is actually soulmate. I was surprised cuz soulmate has always been a term i attach to wife or husband...but he said a soulmate can be a friend that knows you so well that he/she does not even need you to say it, and they know whats in your mind already. Its an interesting concept...but i highly doubt many friendships can be at that level.
But why do i care? guys will always be shallow bastards that can be so fake that they are almost unseen (yes that includes myself as well...not denying) but the difference sets in when the guy tries his best NOT to be that. maybe its weird..but somehow guys are just like this, the only thing they can do is try not to be so...blargh!
ok actually this post is getting rather weird...people might start thinking that i wanna go for a sex change or something :P no...im happy being a guy...but i wanna be a guy that can prove those girls wrong..that i can be a person that can feel, that isnt so shallow or fake...and is always there...i mean even now i think its not too bad...ok fine when im gaming i tend to ignore my phone...but i sometimes still try to reply while playing :P or when im sleeping, i also try to reply even though i feel like throwing my phone aside...well unless i really fell asleep liao la..that one different story :P
hmmm...but its interesting honestly..to see the different types of guys...even in BB..most of the guys i can predict is gonna grow up to be the cliche kinda guys...so maybe guys are really naturally like this...well...maybe some of them will change...hopefully :P
ok why is this post so messy...well for starters...i just realized something...1 MORE MONTH :( its 5 august today! one more month to the 1 year mark of stony silence...fuck :( not even sure if i can survive that day or not..maybe i'll copy my "suspected-suicidal friend" and attempt to end my life on that date or something..just so i dont have to suffer the next year..sians...or maybe i'll get lucky and miracles might happen...well whatever it is...i think im screwed for this month of august...at least until i recover frm this heartache :(
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