I came into poly with a changed self...aside from BB...im a loyal dog in secondary school...always listening...ever helpful...just listen to what people say and just follow instructions...then when things screw up...people blame you then just take it...but it was a simple life...just follow...nothing can go wrong
then when i came to poly i thought maybe i should change that...maybe grow some backbone...and decide for myself...and voice out...but then it was hard...but slowly some people managed to pull somethings out of me...some leadership roles...some backbone..so confidence and self esteem...it was a nice feeling...that someone really meant it when she said "when i hear about those promising social worker...i think you are so capable of it" such powerful words of confidence really emboldens me...made me feel that im something rather than just a simpleton being pushed around
how wrong i was...i'll only fuck things up...make a mess...piss people off and ruin things..im not meant to take responsibility...why should I...when im a helpful person willing to do anything...people likes me...people say im nice and helpful...so why should i sacrifice that and make them angry by voicing out and disagreeing with them...is a risk...to step up..just shut up and be a good boy..listen to others and nothing goes wrong..simple
so from now on...its back to the good/bad old days...secondary school times sucks...but at least it was simple...and the privilledge i gave to my class (and the future classes) was a bad choice on my part...and wont be repeated again..
-----------------deleting leadership core-----------------
-----------------redeploying follower code---------------
The old(not probably better) justin is back...im sorry to those that i may have disappointed your hopes for me...i disappoint myself as well :'(
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