Wow feeling all time low today...was lazing around my ah gongs house when it suddenly hit me...whats my future in life gonna be like?
I know myself...I may enjoy being alone...but i still need some friends...and more importantly..a partner...but even as I see myself now and think abt the future I realized that i have no hope of ever finding one. I may very well be destined to be alone.
If i conform to what is expected of me...i'll probably end up ruining the relationship...or incompatibilities...or just a relationship that is constantly at risk of breaking.
If i follow who i am...the relationship will be shallow...fake...and still be on the risk of breaking..
I've had relationships before...all ended in disaster..i had someone who cared and loved me for who i am...but i fucked up...and let my heart wander...and in the end got a taste of karma...I've had lots of people who i felt was potentials...but like i said..incompatibilities...to a whole new level. Now when i look ahead and see the future...honestly...i see no future...or at least no future with someone..i want one..but it probably will never happen...Maybe after NS...maybe during work..or maybe just stumble upon each other...but right now...all the people i ever wanted will never be possible...
I have no idea what makes me feel like this all of a sudden...maybe its becuz i was thinking of someone...or a group of someones...or maybe i just want to talk abt stuffs...or i dunno..anything..
Oh wells...as usual...maybe its just a random moment of "emo-ness" or "pussy-ness" as usual i'll just brush things aside and soon things will be normal...at least normal to me.
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