Sians...its like things don't want me to be happy...well i woke up frm a bad dream. I dreamt that a few of my classmates abandoned me...they left me while they went off to toa payoh central (yea the location also damn random) while i walked alone to my ah gong house(again random) then on the stairs i met my ex with the worse haircut ever...to which i ignore before i woke up...at least those were the parts i rmb.
ok but back to the topic...my constant enemy...theres usually only one thing that threatens my friendships...and thats relationship. I rmb the girl (which i know wont be reading this cuz SOMETHING had to happen) who used to be somewhat close to me...we smsed each other in secondary school almost everyday...then she fell in love...with a guy that i knew...wonderful...the next few week was me being their middleman..she tells me tons of things like why she liked him and how much she wanna be with him...usual girl stuff..so i arranged..in a sense...i found out whether he liked her or not...and he did fancy her a bit...so classic lor...with a bit of arrangement and encouraging...both of them got together...happy them..unhappy me...why?
Cuz after that...guess what...my phone got more quieter...no more girl who was in love...cuz shes busy pouring herself to someone else...and cleanly forgot the person she used to talk to...well sometimes i'll still try and start convo...getting average replies...sometimes slower or totally forgotten...wasnt easy..knowing that i lost someone just cuz she found someone better...but honestly i was never really close to her...talking buddies maybe...but i could still feel the pain when it happened...slowly we lost contact...didnt help that she left school at sec 4...which made it all the more harder to contact her...i think i still have her facebook wandering around somewhere but why should i care?
and now...i see the same scene painted in front of me all over again...im afraid another friend is going to disappear...this time not just any random talk buddy but really a friend...messages are getting shorter...sometimes slow or maybe even forgotten...i know cuz im in contact with both parties and i know she is getting replies while im sitting where waiting...I realized that my disadvantage and will always be an enemy ready to attack...right now all my friends are guys...and guys are wired this way...they like girls (somehow im laughing at myself when i say this..oh irony) and i'll always lose to a girl...no matter how much i've done for my friend...how much i sacrifice...they will always favor a girl...who probably didnt even do as much...just cuz they are girls, they win...I guess thats what happens when im too close to my friends..maybe its a fact of life that has to happen...but i dont even rmb myself abandoning my friends just cuz i was in a relationship...but as usual...thats me...and i cant force it on others..
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