Sigh...seems like an emotional roller coaster for yesterday and probably today...all these is mixed with a little bit of good in it just to keep me going a bit more...
So after my long run yesterday..i got home and felt really lonely...it then hit me how lonely i am during weekdays when i do not have BAMS with me...and my usual chat buddy isnt in the mood for talking so im alone :( But i was surprised when someone sms-ed me to check on how i am...the person was quite nice and chatted with me straight to 2pm...I felt comforted that she was so concerned about the way i do things...but unfortunately that how i always do things
No friendship is perfect...and theres bound to be disagreements...i told her that cuz when someone tells me what the problem is...i'll will do my best to change it...and she said that it may not always be a good idea cuz im the only one doing the changes and not the other person...she asked me "dont you wanna be accommodated sometimes?" I agree...i do...but if my friends are not willing to do it then i am...cuz someone has to keep the friendship going...and i will...she disagreed and said that in the long run i will get tired or angry frm exerting so much energy on it...i was surprised becuz only recently i actually nearly went into rage for that very reason...but i kept it in check and thing went without incident...I told her that honestly i will do anything just to maintain the friendship...and at that very moment...the person was not longer the person...i found myself talking to "someone else" instead...someone that i also said the same thing...but lost my friendship with...thankfully the person fell asleep abruptly...so i went to sleep and didnt think much more.
So today..in the morning i was flopping around...until i rmbed that i had to activate my MS word...i smsed my junior and planned to meet him...oh i also had grp meeting...took the train and tried to sms my emo friend (Who i think should be reading this...so cheer up please...i miss talking to you since i've been holding back a lot of my things cuz i know you're not feeling too good as well...dont wanna trouble you ^^) but got really curt replies...guess hes still not ready to talk to me yet...so i went to school and got more bad news..my junior not gonna meet me cuz he lazy to rush...humph theres goes another cheer up...and to wrap it up..ruth popped by and saw me...dumped her laptop on me and asked me to help her and bounced off...so i was stuck with 3 laptops to settle...which thankfully all went well...called ruth and had a hard time searching for her...found her alone at level 4 so i asked her how come alone...she said others had class so she eating alone..all of a sudden i didnt hate her anymore...and actually wanted to offer to accompany her...but i realized my group is waiting for me...so i just said bye to her...best part was she didnt even insult me once...hmmm :P
So now im stuck in the library with my group...struggling thru our work...and with my mind on so many other things i find it hard to even focus..thank goodness im done with my work anyway...and i already have some ideas for my next blog post...im gonna write a "letter" to a friend that i miss...well he was more than a friend...but the thing i miss most is the friendship...hope you've been well kiddo...
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