Well another day gone...and another day of silence...well not literally but silence from my real problems...cuz again..there wasnt anyone to talk to...but i did get a pleasant surprise sms from someone...someone who i can trust..but would be very wrong to share my problems with...so if you're reading this..im sorry..its not that i dont wanna tell you...its just that it would be very unfair for you to hear such things from me.
but yea..woke up in the morning..went to friends house to do fyp...was basic...but i guess with 3 of them members so addicted to sims 3...after some persuasion and lots of researching..i decided to play that as well...haha...and i realized what a perfect game it is to escape frm reality...heck even IGN's review said that its a method to escape reality..haha..its like...anything i could never do in real life..i can have in that game...the people i wanna be with...the home i wanna live in..the job (not to say my current one suck) that i can have...its perfect...so i had that whole chunk installed (about 22.4 gig mind you) and will soon be hiding in another world...
So halfway thru grp discussion i got an sms frm someone...who read thru my blog recently and saw my predicament...she encouraged me to keep going and i really appreciate it...however it made me even more guilty of things that i have done before...but i know that was not intended...i tried to push that aside...i was so tempting to pour out everything to her...tell her what troubles me and all..but i know i cant..not becuz its her..but rather becuz of external factors...so once again...im not able to talk to people about things...and i need to keep it with myself...im now very careful about what i do..out of fear of doing things wrong again..what if i did tell her...and somehow or another the person in question found out? then he would think that im a blabber-mouth and go around telling others my problems with him...thats why i have to settle this alone..with him...thats why im forced to push people away that used to be helping me...so that things like that wont happen...i force myself to a corner just so i can suffer...and have no idea how long this can last
so i guess once again...imma gonna go jog and exercise again...see if i can tire myself enough so i dont think abt stuffs...and maybe tmr will be the day which it ends..
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